


Looking Into the Ages

by Merfilly



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 16:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1990104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of facing Hydra, of her 'age' being forced into the open, Natasha needs a safe port that understands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking Into the Ages

**Author's Note:**

> Elements lifted mostly from spoilers, like not canon-compliant in full detail to CA:tWS or A.O.S. Some influence from comics and the Ultimates Animated movies.

"It's not true, what you said?"

Steve's quiet question pushed against Nat's boundaries. She'd given the answer that would be most true, the one that would work. Why did he have to press?

Then he was there, holding her against his chest, only there was no shield raised over her to keep her safe. There couldn't be a shield, not here, not in her own head.

Lives, spiraling through memories that went back how far? This one began with that lie, so it had been true.

She wondered how it would be for the Winter Soldier. Would he ever remember the many times he had existed?

"Go find your friend," she told him. "Save him. Save him from the past, give him a future."

Steve didn't understand, the man that had slept away the decades under the ice.

He couldn't understand what it was to live, to have to die, and be reborn into a new person so many times. He was still young, and she needed … she needed someone who wasn't.

* * *

"You shouldn't be here."

Despite the words, Phil poured her a drink. It wasn't vodka; the look on her face was the one that rejected the past. Instead, he gave her a scotch, making one for himself.

"You're dead, I know," she said quietly. "May's back?"

He nodded, a little awkwardly because of all of those complications. He wanted to tell her that it didn't matter, that he missed where he'd been with _her_ , with Clint as their anchor against the memories. He settled on the couch beside her, trying to find the words, but she reached up and covered his lips with her finger.

"You have the easier part to play, because…" Her words failed, and she just traced the lines around his eyes, reached up and ran her hand over the retreating hairline.

He drew in a deep breath and set his drink down, pulling her into his arms fully. "This last mission, it tripped the past?" he questioned, knowing it had to have for her to have tracked him down despite the protocols in play. Of course, with Fury himself out of the public eye, who else could she come to? Clint was… not like them. He accepted all that Nat was, but he couldn't give her the comfort of actually knowing what they faced.

"Waited for you to get clear enough of the fallout, then came," she said, acknowledging that it had. "Steve doesn't understand."

//Steve. Not Rogers.// Phil nodded, seeing where that would be a problem. "He didn't have to live it."

"We did." Natasha turned and let her fingers trace those age lines again. "You even show it. Fury does. Me?"

Phil leaned in and kissed her brow lightly. "You wear it in your soul, Natasha. Fury and I know it's there, even if you stay as beautiful as you are deadly."

She smiled at that, a sad one, but it was a start. "We found the Winter Soldier. He got away, from us, and from them," she added. "I can't help but wonder… will it be as bad for him? Or worse? Or better?"

"No one can answer that but him." Phil closed his eyes, recalling all the details of their hunt for that elusive assassin. "Are you staying?"

"Tonight… more, as long as May isn't expected?" Nat looked up into his eyes, seeing the regrets there. "You and she…"

"Not that direction," Phil told her. He and May had issues that were not going to disappear… and May wasn't like them either.

"We can both forget, for a while," Nat said then, settling to the comfort of someone who knew what it was to live too many times.

**Author's Note:**

> There's a tumblr post out there that the "vintage Captain America cards" were collected by Phil... as a kid when they first came out. I've been playing with the idea that SHIELD had or gained a tight grip on *most* of the attempts to recreate the serum.


End file.
